Cat Report

Look at these handsome fellas. I’m in a running battle with them for my chair. They want it. I want it. The minute I get up for tea or the phone or to light a candle, they nip out from wherever they have been hiding, and take it. I gently suggest that the back of the chair is soft and comfy and big enough for a nap – they say, go on then, take it, but we’re staying put right HERE.

Squeak is so leggy and elegant and skittish. He stays thin by sheer nerves.

Pip is……….. tubby. His leg to body ratio is not in his favour. He hasn’t got Squeak’s hungry leanness. He is round and solid and cuddlesome. He spends most of the day trying to get on my chest, while I work on the laptop, in MY chair. As well as squashing the breath out of my lungs, this entails a supporting hand, holding him up off the laptop keyboard. He weighs 15 lbs. This is not sustainable. I usually manage 5 suffocating minutes before pushing him off. My keyboard is permanently full of cat hair. As is my bosom.

 Of course, today they get what they want. I have a fever of 101, I am in bed (and I hate being in bed in the day, so that shows you how sick I am). They have full posession of the chair.

Which means that they are sitting on my chest in bed instead.

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