As you all know, the last couple of winters have been very difficult ones for me, and I was dreading this one, in the expectation that I would slip down, down, down again. But, so far, so good, I am feeling pretty great! I think I’ve learned so much, and putting it all into practise this autumn has helped to keep the SAD at bay (so far anyway!).  

But I’m still mindful of those whose moods are affected by the winter darkness. First of all, {{{{{hugs}}}}}. You’re not alone. Lots of us have been there/are there/may be there again sometime in the future. You can’t get well on your own, you need a support system, and for many of us, the most valuable support we got was from others who have been through it too. So know this: we’re here for you.

Second. Here are some of the things that have helped me, and I hope others can add to this list.

Daily exercise. This is top of my list, because its been the single biggest factor in my mood control. I’ve learned from trial and error, that I need to exercise for upwards of 45 minutes to start feeling those endorphins, so I try really hard to walk (fast) for an hour a day. I manage at least 5 times a week, and I really think its keeping my mood up, because this time last year (and the year before) I was feeling pretty grim by now.

Medication where necessary. I’ve been on antidepressants for nearly 2 years now, and I have to say that its only been in the last few months that I’ve really accepted the need for them. I know I can’t do without them, I know that I need a high dose, and I’m okay with it. I’m grateful that the one that I am on gives me no side effects at all, and that I have a really, really great GP.

Therapy. I had a course of cognitive behavioural therapy last year, and it was incredibly helpful. I couldn’t recommend it more highly.

Healthy Lifestyle. I’ve learned that my mood is very sensitive to sugar, to caffeine, and to alcohol. I know that I need a certain amount of fat in my diet, and that if I try to cut down below that level, my mood dips. I know that I have to eat regularly throughout the day, and that I need carbs at every meal. I know that I am gluten intolerant, and that if I have anything with gluten in, I will get horrible anxiety attacks. Everybody is different (and that goes for any of this advice), but every body has its own nutritional needs. Find out what they are, and you give your brain chemistry a helping hand.

Sufficient sleep. I cannot function without enough sleep. And its my sleep patterns that get disrupted first when my depression kicks in. So I have come to terms with the fact that occasionally I will need to use meds to help me sleep. Luckily, there are now really great sleeping tablets that are (relatively) non addictive.

Light. Now that I exercise more outside, I’m probably getting more sunlight than I used to. But I also use a dawn simulator in the bedroom, and I really think this is helping. Its quite incredible that a light can wake you up, but it does, which I think shows how sensitive we are to light.

Socialising. I’m a bit of a loner. I would happily go for weeks without seeing anyone, especially in winter. And I am especially like that when my depression is bad. But I’ve learned that that is really bad for my mood. I need to be around other people, on a regular basis. At the first signs of wanting to isolate myself (which is another of my early warning signs) I have to make myself get out and do some mixing. It helps tremendously.

I used to think that there would be some magic cure for depression, such as medication, and that it would fix it entirely. I now know that there are many factors that cause depression, and so there are many factors that contribute to recovery.

I like to think of it this simple way (and this is in my case, you may be completely different):

My brain needs certain levels of serotonin to feel good, but for some reason, my brain is like a leaky bucket, letting all the serotonin drain away. My antidepressant (which is an SSRI) plugs the holes, keeping the serotonin in my brain for longer. But it doesn’t make serotonin. I have to encourage my body to make it itself, to fill that bucket back up, by doing things like eating well, exercising daily, trying to have fun and laugh more often, getting out in the sunshine, etc.

I’ve also come to see a real pattern in myself that has caused (or contributed) to the depression, over the years. All the stuff that I do that helps, all of it goes right against the grain for me. I hate to exercise, I love sugar and junk food, I’m an unsociable couch potato. Every day is a fight against all of that, but I’d rather be fighting my own bad inclinations than be fighting against the horrible darkness of depression.

Now I feel a responsibility to pass on what I’ve learned, in the hopes that it might help just one person who is struggling. If that person is you, don’t lose hope. Don’t stop fighting. You can do this!