My Heart Is Broken

My beautiful boy, Snickers, was killed this morning. He ran out into an oncoming car, and was killed instantly. I’ve always been terrified of something happening to Snickers, because he was so incredibly special, I knew how devastated I would feel.

I’ve had lots of cats in my life, but Snickers was more than a cat. He was so intelligent, so saucy, everyone who met him adored him. If you met him outside he would flop onto your feet, or sometimes, he would jump up into your arms, without any warning. He had an incredible trust of humans, and loved to be with people.

He was six years old this month, and I hoped we’d have him for many years to come. I haven’t seen our other cat, Jaffa, his brother, yet today. He will be looking for him, and will do so for a few days. They’ve always been devoted, and when Snickers went missing a few years ago, it took a couple of weeks before Jaffa stopped running everywhere calling him. We were lucky that time, even though he was missing for a month, we eventually found him. I couldn’t stop crying then, just as I can’t now, but that was out of joy and relief, whereas this is just deep pain and grief.

We’ve buried his poor little body outside the front room window, with a rosemary bush over him. It seemed appropriate, since there is no way we will ever forget him. I wish with all my heart that I could have had one last cuddle with him, I wish I’d let him snuggle up in bed with me last night, as he loved to do.

Our lives won’t be the same without our little Snicky boy. He meant all the world to us, and this heartache will never quite go away. But I hope that in time, I’ll be able to remember him with smiles instead of with tears. I love you, Snicky boy.

101 thoughts on “My Heart Is Broken

  1. Oh Dee…hugs to you both. xx

    Losing a pet is just as devastating as losing a much loved family member. There will be a smickers shaped whole in your hearts for a very long time. But rest assured that in time, your memories will bring smiles and laughter instead of the torrent of tears that they bring right now.

    Thinking of you. xx

  2. No words I say here will ease your pain but I’m so so sorry to hear about Snickers. Hugs to you xx

  3. Oh Dee…My heart goes out to you and Tony.
    You will be much in my thoughts today.
    Take great care
    Maureen x

  4. Having lost a few cats in my time, I understand how you feel. I’m so sorry, Dee. Many hugs to you and yours.

    Snickers – in your photos anyway – looked like he had a good and happy life with you. I’m sure he’ll remember that.

  5. Such lovely photos , I add a few tears in sympathy to the river you will cry today. Deepest sympathies and the very best of wishes that your pain heals as quickly as it can so that you can remember with joy your lovely Snickers. RIP.

  6. hi babes, am so so sorry, you must be devastated. I was more upset when my little sage dissapeared than I was about Anth leaving, lots and lots and lots of hugs.
    jen xxxxxxxxxx

  7. {{{{{{Dee & Tony}}}}}}

    Wishing you peace amidst the sorrow, and hoping your memories of your darling cat give you strength as you mourn his passing. He was truly a beautiful boy, I am so sorry for you loss.

    Love and light,
    x

  8. What a beautiful post – I am so sorry for your loss. I would be devastated if anything happened to either of our cats.

    I can’t remember where it was I read it, but someone said that when we pass away all the animals we’ve ever loved and lost come running to greet us. There is something so nice about that thought.

    Lots of hugs xx

  9. Oh Dee, Tony, What a horrible thing to happen. I’m sitting at my desk crying for you. I’ve been through this a few times, and can only sympathise. There’s nothing I can say, and nothing I can do, but if there was, I would. Take care, and allow yourselves to grieve. I’ll be thinking of you both. xxx

  10. He looks so lovely. I’m shedding a few tears over here too. I think the rosemary bush is a lovely idea.

  11. Oh Dee I am so sorry. I know how upset i would be if anything happened to my puss and my heart goes out to you and Tony. Poor Snicky Boy. Hugs, Charlie xxxxx

  12. Oh Darling, I know how you feel, I cried for days and days when our little Noah died, and miss him still.

    Sending lot of cyber hugs and prayers.

  13. i am so sorry. i have two cats who look uncannily similar to your two sweeties. i know i would be devastated by the loss of either, as i am by yours.

  14. Hi Dee, I am so sorry for your loss, how awful. I hope it is some comfort that poor Snickers won’t have suffered too much, and that he led a life full of love with you and Tony and his brother.

    I hope Jaffa is ok. I guess he will be needing lots of extra cuddles for a while to come.

    Snickers looked like he had lots of personality. The last photo is wonderful, I hope one day soon it will make you smile.

    love, nina x

  15. I don’t quite know what to say other than I am so very, very sorry for your loss – you, Tony and Jaffa are in my thoughts.

    hugs….

  16. So sorry to hear about Snickers.We lost our cat ,Oscar,18months ago.He was 17 and very poorly and we had to decide to have him put to sleep.It was so awful.He had been a wonderful pet,gentle,intelligent,great with the grandchildren.I still miss him so much.He is buried in our front garden in the spot where he loved to sleep and wait for us to come home.My big question is whether I can bear to have another cat and go through all that pain again.I really do feel for you and just wish I could give you a great big hug.Barbara

  17. What terrible news. I’m so sorry for all of you. Even though we know that our kitties will not be around for ever, it hurts so much when they are taken from us.

  18. Oh, Dee. If I could hug you tight, I would. My heart/soul says that love of our animals remains our most sacred link as humans—our link to each other, in a world not always kind or fair. ‘m deeply sorry your special Snickers was taken so prematurely.

  19. I still get upset over the loss of our dog 14 years ago. It is a horrible thing to have to deal with – pets are so trusting and loving. Real heartfelt sympathies to you both.

  20. I am so sorry to hear about the tragic loss of your feline friend. Never easy especially when snatched from you so quickly and without warning. I hope that he lives on in your garden and all that you grow there, providing you with some small smiles in the future as you remember his quirks and the love he gave you. xx

  21. I am so sorry for your loss Dee,my son loves animals and was nearly in tears as we were both reading it,he lost a rabbit 3 years ago and we will never get another one like Buster,he was different more like a human than an animal.My heart goes out to you.Hugs,Cheryl

  22. Dear Dee,
    I’m so sorry about Snickers. My deepest sympathy to you, Tony and Jaffa.
    xxAgnes

  23. So sorry to hear of your loss.
    I was only admiring a cat with just his colouring in our garden this morning – how wierd!
    (((hugs)))
    Liz
    xx

  24. Sorry to hear your sad news – anyone with animals will have great sympathy for your grief.

  25. Dee, my heart aches for you. I know what it’s like to lose such a special companion. You’ll never forget Snickers, but eventually the grief will mellow and you will be able to enjoy your wonderful memories of him.

    Hugs, love and condolences to you, Tony and Jaffa.

  26. I am so sorry Dee, its heartbreaking to go through something like this. I felt the same way when I lost Oscar, my old Siamese. Its like losing a person, but it will get easier over time.

    Lucyxx

  27. Oh, I’m so sorry for your loss. That’s just too horrible a thing to happen…
    Sending hugs your way

  28. Oh Dee, I’m so, so sorry. Many hugs to you and Tony and Jaffa, and please, take time out if you need to for this. I still get weepy thinking about all the cats and dogs I’ve lived with and lost, and my heart goes out to you.

  29. I’m so sorry Dee. He’s such a beautiful cat and you’ve given him a wonderful life.

  30. Oh Dee, I am so sorry for you, Tony and Jaffa. I know how much it hurts – I grew up in coyote country, and no matter how vigilant you try to be about keeping cats safe, they do have minds of their own which is why we love them so, but it’s so hard and heartbreaking when the perils of the world catch them. Sending you lots of hugs and warm thoughts.

  31. Big hugs to all three of you, it’s so terribly sad – Snickers looks so beautiful. It’s one of those decisions you have to make to either shut them in or let them go free, but Snickers obviously had a happy life and was much loved. Nita x

  32. Sorry Dee, I know from experience how hard it is to lose a special cat. So sorry for you. Sending all my love kxx

  33. Dee, Tony & Jaffa,
    I am so sorry for your loss. “Since each of us is blessed with only one life, why not live it with a cat?” R. Stearns
    Enjoy all your wonderful memories and my thoughts are with you.
    Darin XOXO

  34. I’m so sorry to hear about your poor Snickers. ((((BIG HUGS)))) and lots of lovely thoughts are with you. At least you have amazing memories and you had those great 6 years together.

  35. I have just showed my daughter the photos of Snickers and Jaffa and we are both really sad for you. We lost our Cassie to a car a couple of years ago, its not fair when the good ones go too soon. Love and hugs to you.

  36. I’m so sorry Dee. I’ve had lots of cats over the years and it is really heartbreaking to lose them this way. We have a Snickers ourselves – she’s a tabby with a hint of ginger, not quite a year old yet. Give yourself time to cry and in time you’ll smile when you think about him and the happy times he gave you.

  37. Dee, I’m so sorry to hear about Snickers. Lots of hugs and thoughts to you and Tony.
    xox

  38. Oh my dear friend, I am in tears. It is just heartbreaking. I love my dog Nora so much so I know It is not a small thing to lose our animal friends. I send you and Tony a very tight hug. oxox

  39. Oh god how awful. I am so so sorry for you, and Tony, and Jaffa. We always had many cats but I have lost a cat, Baby, and a dog, Deli, who were really family. So special they’re still in my heart. So I really feel for you. It will get better, and you will remember him with a smile. (((HUGS)))

  40. Oh, Dee. I just feel so numb, I think my heart skipped a beat. I am so, so sorry to hear this news. Poor Snickers. I cannot believe the year you have had. My children adore looking at your photos of Jaff and Snickers so much that I had to bookmark the photos just so we could see them. Hugs to you, Tony and Jaffa. We are thinking of you over here.

  41. So sorry, Dee and Tony, to hear this tragic news. The hearts of my daughters, who also loved to see the adorable pictures of your cats, and me go out to you both. I know the longing you feel to give him one last loving cuddle….

  42. Hi Dee,

    Do you have a favorite cat-benefiting charitable organization? I’d like to make a donation in honor of Snickers.

  43. I’m really sorry Dee that is so sad – love and best wishes to you both (and Jaffa too) x

  44. My heartfelt sympathies – nothing really prepares you for losing a special one, at least he chose you to share his brief and loving life with. Cats don’t have to stay, so he wanted to be with you.

  45. Everything has been said, but I just had to add my condolences. Those of us who love anything, but especially a pet, are devastated with you at your loss. Many hugs.

  46. I’m so sorry. My family has said prayers for Snickers. Please give hugs to Jaffa for us.

  47. I’m so sorry to hear about lovely Snickers. I live on a main road and worry incessantly about my cats particularly when they won’t come in.

  48. Dear Dee,
    I was so sad to read your blog today – I’m so sorry. We lost a dog suddenly several years ago and it takes such a long time to get through that kind of a sudden loss. Our hearts and thoughts are with you.

  49. I’m so sorry to hear your news – you must be heart broken. Its a terrible thing to happen…Ive lost a pup and three cats on the road…cars just go too fast . But cats especially love their freedom….>> to you and your OH and Jaffa.

  50. Hi Dee & Tony

    I am so sorry to hear about Snickers. I am sure in time you will remember him with smiles. I hope Jaffa is okay and give Jaffa abit hug.

    Sarah

  51. Oh Dee, so sorry to hear this. I’m in tears now as well, I know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet, and the shock in this case must have been awful. Sending hugs to you and Tony and Jaffa. I hope you can find some comfort in curling up with him and loving him.

    I hope someday you can look back on all those lovely photos with fond memories.

    Much love,
    Lindsey

  52. I’m so sad to read about your loss…such a tragic accident.
    I couldn’t pass through without expressing my sympathy for you.

  53. You made me cry at my desk. I read the blog entry and sat and wept for a moment. Sorry for your loss see you soon.

  54. I am so sorry. I had to have my beautiful persian Micha put to sleep on Saturday. She was a poorly girl and 16 years old. I feel for your loss. I must try to stop looking for her all the time.
    Best wishes

  55. I am so very, very sorry to hear your news. I know how devastating the loss of a pet can be and having lost cats to traffic in the past I am always terrified of this happening again. Sending you virtual hugs and comfort.

  56. Dee
    I am so so very sorry. I know what you must be feeling as I have been there myself and will again soon with one of our darlings.
    Hugs

    Sandra

  57. So sorry for your loss, I feel for you and have shed a tear or two for Snickers – but you have
    some beautiful photos to remember him by. Gill.

  58. I’m so very, very sorry for your loss. Being a cat lover myself, I know how devastating it is to lose a beloved furbaby. My heart goes out to you and your family.

  59. Dee,
    I just happened upon this post as I came looking for the preview-my heart is very sad for you as I know it feels like there were no good-byes or lovies. Just remember your angel kitty is across the rainbow bridge giving you inspiration and love. xoxo Michele & Tetley

  60. Grieve not, nor speak of me with tears, but laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you… I loved you so… twas heaven here with you.

    —Isla Paschal Richardson

    So sorry to hear of the loss of your darling cat…