One of the ongoing decisions that every blog writer makes is how much reality to allow into their blog. The best blogs create a feeling of intimacy between writer and reader, which makes the reader feel that they are peeking into someone else’s life. But few of us want a warts’n’all look at someone else’s life. We prefer an edited version; albeit one that is edited so carefully that we can’t really tell. Our own lives are real enough, without experiencing the grittiness of someone else’s reality.
At least, that’s how I feel about my favourite blogs. And that’s how I approach this blog. And you know what? Maintaining a blog is a great tool for happiness. As well as allowing you to connect with friends across the planet, it helps you to set aside the petty irritations and black clouds of life, and find something cheerful, funny, and entertaining in each day’s existence. I used to write a diary, but found that it tended towards the gloomy, which did me no good. But this blog often uplifts me (especially when it becomes two way, through your comments). No matter how busy I am, I enjoy taking the time to plan and write each day’s entries.
But I’m not going to enjoy this one very much. Because it requires me to lift that veil, and show you one of the realities of my life.
For the last few years I have been struggling with an autoimmune thyroid disorder. My thyroid swings between over- and under-active. Stress makes it worse. Over activity makes it worse. I catch any virus that is going around, because my immune system is so busy attacking me that it doesn’t do it’s job correctly, and then the viruses make it worse.
But this is not a call for sympathy. Many people are far, far sicker than I am. Besides, this has been going on for years, and the longer it goes on for, the easier it is to deal with. Funny that, but it’s true. You learn to cope, to find your limits and listen to your own body’s wisdom. I know the warning signs, I can tell when I’m pushing it, when a burnout is impending. And when it is, I know what I have to do.
This year has been a difficult one, so far. There has been a tremendous amount of stress, from one reason and another, plus I seem to have caught every cold and virus that is going around. Now my body has put up the red light. Danger, Will Robinson.
I’m telling you all this, even though I loathe talking about my health problems, so that you’ll understand the reasons why, when I tell you that we have had to cancel Wonderwool Wales. It’s last minute, because I’ve been hoping against hope that I could do it. But I can’t. Just can’t. I’m so sorry to those of you who were looking forward to meeting us; I was looking forward to meeting you too. What a disappointment.
But such is life. We compromise, we adjust, we give, we take. I hope those of you who are going have a wonderful time anyway. Maybe we’ll make it next year.
Let’s finish on a cheerful note: my Forest Canopy shawl is complete. At least, I’ve completed the recommended number of pattern repeats. But I’ve only used half my yarn. Shall I continue, and make it even bigger, or shall I finish here, and have it as a shoulder shawl? Your thoughts, please!