I’m not a nap person. But sometimes, just sometimes, a nap seems called for, especially when you’re feeling under the weather, as I was yesterday afternoon. Usually I would snuggle up on the sofa, but I was feeling particularly rough, and so I retreated to my bed. The cats were so excited, they were practically underneath the duvet before I was. “How sweet,” I thought, “they can nap with me.”
That shows you how infrequently I nap. That blissful forgetfulness about what two overexcited cats can do to naptime. It went something like this.
1.20pm: I settle myself comfortably, and Squeak curls up behind my knees. Lovely.
1.21pm: Pip jumps onto my pillow, stares at me very hard, stands on my hair, and then burrows under the duvet, where he commences jabbing Squeak with a paw, and retreating, jabbing and retreating, in the hopes of a scuffle.
1.22pm: Squeak finally retaliates, and they start pouncing at each other over my legs, scratching me in the process.
1.23pm: I throw the covers back and remove them from the bed. They both look very indignant. I settle back down.
1.24pm: Pip jumps back onto the bed, and starts pawing at the duvet, trying to find a way under it, first with one paw, then frantically with both paws.
1.25pm: I lift up a corner and let him in. He gets halfway, and then starts backing out as fast as possible. He settles back down on my pillow, staring at me.
1.26pm: Squeak joins him. I groan and turn over, making sure to tuck the duvet around my neck so there are no openings.
1.27pm: Squeak jumps down, and starts pawing at the bottom of the duvet, trying to get in that way.
1.29pm: He finally succeeds.
1.30pm: Pip jumps down and starts poking at Squeak through the duvet. Squeak pokes back. There is a lot of scuffling. I push Squeak out with my foot, and they start fighting on the carpet.
1.31pm: They chase each other around the bedroom, doing bouncy circuits over the bed, and most especially over my head.
1.32pm: I shout at them. They ignore me.
1.33pm: They stop fighting and settle down on the windowsill.
1.35pm: I start to drop off.
1.36pm: Pip brings me his favourite toy, a large and heavy stuffed hamster, and drops it on my face. I toss it onto the floor. He retrieves it, and drops it behind my pillow.
1.37pm: He starts frantically digging under the pillow, trying to get the hamster. I yell again. He ignores me.
1.38pm: I hurl back the covers, grab both cats, tuck one under each arm, and take them downstairs. I shut the door, and plod wearily back to bed.
1.39pm: I try to sleep. Pip howls at the bedroom door.
1.50pm: I finally give up, and trail downstairs. Pip hares upstairs to find his hamster.
1.51pm: I make myself a strong coffee, while wondering what made me want to get pets in the first place.
1.52pm: Both cats curl up in their basket, and instantly fall into a deep sleep that lasts the rest of the day…..